It’s Tuesday again. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like I’ have a starring role in the movie Groundhog Day.
Same old house to tidy, same kids to herd from place to place, same dogs to walk, same dishes to wash, same washing to hang out and most of all, I feel like I use the same phrases day after day.
Surely it would be more efficient to have a recording made that was set for various times of the day; no one would notice I was missing.
But then there are the things I get to say randomly as well. So maybe I am handy to have around after all.
1/’ Turn The TV/ iPad/ Xbox/Wii ( Screens) Off and Get your Shoes on‘.
This is my stock phrase in the morning before we leave on the school run, and before I drag everyone out in the car for someone’s activity. They have heard it so many times that it’s generally completely ignored unless I physically get between them and the relevant screen. Then they listen.
2/’I Don’t Know Where Your Shoes/Coat/ Bag/ Clothes/ PE Kit Are. You Will Just Have To Look For Them.’
I seem to be the goto person if anyone ( even DH) is looking for something in this house. Most of the time they don’t even bother looking first, they just ask. Of course, often I do know where the ‘thing’ is but I resent having to use my precious brain cells in this way because the rest of my family are too lazy to look themselves.
3/ ‘Have You Looked Properly? You Might Need To Lift Something Up.’
This is Stage Two of the question above and is usually uttered because the seeker’s idea of looking for something seems to involve no co-ordinated movement of their peripheral limbs, despite their helpless surveying of a pile of other things. Again, this phrase is often used on DH , as well as the children. He hates it.
4/ ‘ Where Did You See Your Shoes/Coat/ Bag/ Clothes/ PE Kit Last?’
Stage Three of an answer to Question Two. Used mainly when I suspect the kids have left something behind at school, but also useful to ascertain whether they are lining up to blame someone for the disappearance of a thing.
5/’ Go And Look Properly Again. Use Your Eyes This Time.’
Stage Four. I use this only when I know for sure that the thing is there. Otherwise by this time, it’s probably easier for me to just go and look myself.
6/‘Can Someone Please Feed The Dogs/Cats/ Hamster/Rats?’
The pets in our house aren’t stupid. One of the kids’ jobs is to feed the animals before they sit down in front of a screen, but if the pets feel they have missed a mealtime they don’t bother trying to tell our children they are hungry. Instead they come and sit down in front of me and stare.
7/ ‘Can Someone Let The Dogs in. Wipe Their Feet First.’
In our house it seems that no one, except for DH and I, can hear the dogs barking to be let in. This is probably because the kids are all hooked up to screens and wearing earphones. The neighbours must hate us.
8/’Please Pick Up The Towels In The Bathroom’
OMG, this is something that makes me see red. My children love to leave piles of (wet) towels on the floor and I am forever interrupting their screen time and asking them to go and hang them up. I am not confident that I’ll ever be able to teach them to do this with me having to ask.
9/ ‘Please Don’t Hang Your Coats Up On The Floor.’
You wouldn’t believe it but we do have plenty of coat racks in our house. I even got some moved down so the kids could reach them. Did it help? What do you think?
10/ ‘Please Just Hurry UP!’
I think this one will go on my gravestone. I seem to spend my life pleading with children who seem to be incapable of completing a simple task without being distracted by something much more exciting, like a blank wall or a speck of dust in the sunshine. They seem to truly believe that time slows down to keep them company. The more I plead, the slower they go and I have no idea how to teach them otherwise.
It’s not just me that finds myself repeating the same thing day after day, is it?