Hmm, a difficult one this. I’m not keen on being on the business end of the camera these days. But then, I never was.
I’ve been scrolling through old photos recently and came across a few of me taken on honeymoon in Italy in July 2000.
I look so young, so happy, so newly wed. And yes, so slim. If I posted a photo of myself 13 years ago, I just know what everyone is going to fixate on. Oh, weren’t you slim? Oh, what a shame; you’ve got such a pretty face…
I look at my fresh faced self all those years ago and feel a bit sorry for that girl in the photos. She really had no idea what she was getting herself in for as far as raising a family went. She’s got some sharp shocks ahead of her. Four kids! She didn’t even know if she would be able to have one!
So I’m not going to show you a conventional self portrait but I am going to show you this photo of me instead.I know it’s a bit of a cop out.
The picture was taken in the New Wing of the Vatican Museum, which we visited when we were in Rome. It’s of a large statue called Colossus of the Nile. The reclining man is a river god, identified as such by the sphinxes and crocodiles. The 16 babies are thought to represent how much the level of the Nile rises when it floods, fertilizing the region as it does so. This carving has been dated back to the First century A.D, but was probably a Roman copy of an already existing Greek statue.
And there is me, peering out between a gap between the river god’s arm and stomach. I’m smiling because I didn’t think I could be seen. But when we got the photos back after our holiday ( remember having to *wait* to see what your photos turned out like?), I was surprised to see how obvious I was.
I’m not recognisable though, am I? Not if you don’t already know me.
Why have I not put a ‘proper’ photo of me up?
It’s not that I hate the way I look, far from it. I think I’m more at ease with my face and body than 99% of people I know. It’s what other people think when they look at me that bothers me. I know it shouldn’t but it does. That’s obviously something I have to work on, eh?
Or is it society that needs to be less judgmental instead?
For more faces from behind the blogs, check out this week’s Gallery over at Sticky Fingers.